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09 November 2011 @ 07:27 pm
as far as the world extends: part vi: nulla tenaci invia est via  
part vi: nulla tenaci invia est via (for the tenacious, no road is impassable)

Kalinda was smart enough to know the signs.

Alicia was acting highly out of character, wanting to go on every raiding excursion, pressing to go further and further into the town. She seemed to go out of her way to come in contact with the undead, mowing them down with grim determination. Afterwards she'd push Kalinda down and fuck her hard enough to leave bruises.

Alicia was still grieving despite how little she showed to anyone, including Kalinda. She had lost so much that Kalinda honestly couldn't bear to hold her back, not if it meant even the smallest amount of comfort for Alicia. She deserved a world where things were fair and she was happy; instead they were both stuck with this one. Kalinda always assumed she could take whatever the world could throw at her and that assumption had been true, until Alicia.

It felt like everything in her life since she had shed her old skin and become Kalinda revolved around Alicia, every decision she made bringing her closer, a moth to a flame. First Alicia's husband and that whole sordid affair, Kalinda's boss an old friend who still held a torch for her, and finally Alicia herself. As their friendship had developed, the thought of losing that friendship, of losing Alicia from her life became something that kept Kalinda up at night. Still, even after it came to pass Kalinda found her life still changing because of Alicia Florrick. When it turned out Sophia had a husband, a husband that Kalinda had apparently dismissed as inconsequential she had rejected Sophia almost immediately. It wasn't until after she was out the door that Kalinda had realized just how profound an effect Alicia had had on her.

Now that she had Alicia in her bed every night it occurred to Kalinda that maybe that was what she had wanted all along. Alicia took that moment to glance over smiling, causing Kalinda's chest to ache. She tightened her grip on her rifle, bringing her attention back to the empty street.

The latest assault and reconnaissance mission was aimed at individual houses, executing zombies and taking supplies with a goal of returning to clear out decomposing bodies. They were moving out in a ever-widening circle, attempting to clear out the entire town.

As with every expedition, Kalinda stuck close to Alicia, keeping her within eyesight at all times. Alicia had adopted the same style of dress as the other members of their team; a thick leather jacket to protect from any bites, her hair pulled up into a tight bun and multiple weapons holsters strapped to her body. It was an incredibly sexy look, made all the more so by how out of character it seemed compared to the prim and proper lawyer Alicia had been.

In the past weeks the assault teams had managed to clear out the streets of undead within several blocks of the school, enough that they had cut back the night watch significantly.

Alicia and Kalinda were alone on this one, their usual partners off across the street. The door was locked but there were two cars in the driveway; usually a sign that there were either dead bodies or zombies inside. Kalinda shot Alicia a significant look as she bent down, her lock picking tools in hand.

Once inside they assumed standard positions, guns cocked, back to back. They cleared the downstairs together before Alicia silently indicated she would clear upstairs. Kalinda nodded, heading back to the kitchen to check out their pantry.

The kitchen was once an immaculate white and still looked incredibly clean, despite the thick layer of dust that covered every surface. Kalinda stopped at the refrigerator, taking a few moments to examine the mementos stuck to the front, the only messy place in the entire kitchen. There were pieces of paper, schedules and receipts held up with brightly coloured magnets alongside several photos of a happy family. She smiled wistfully at the image of a large man with his arm around a woman's shoulders and a small boy on his shoulders.

The smell of rotting flesh hit her nose only moments before something slammed her into the fridge face first. Stars bloomed in front of her eyes as she slid down the door, knocking items to the ground with her. Kalinda pushed the pain aside and rolled on to her back, trying to pull her gun up in front of her but the tip of the rifle got caught on the zombie's pant leg. He reached down for her, groaning loudly. She blocked him with the length of the rifle, pulling it free. It was clearly the family patriarch, though his face was all but rotted away, flesh ripped and hanging from his cheeks.

Kalinda pushed as hard as she could, using the momentum to get back to her feet. The zombie was stronger than her and she wasn't able to reach her handgun or the bolo on her back without the risk of him completely overpowering her.

He pressed closer, pinning her to the fridge, preventing escape. His face was near hers, teeth bared, the animalistic sounds emanating from his throat adding to Kalinda's fear. Just as his mouth came close enough that she could feel the rotting flesh against her skin a gunshot rang out. The zombie fell to the side, pulling the rifle with him.

Alicia was standing there, her arm still outstretched, the gun in her hand. Her mouth was open and she looked terrified. Kalinda slumped against the door, gasping heavily as the adrenaline faded, but completely unable to break eye contact with Alicia.

"Thanks," she breathed.

Alicia said nothing. She reached up and touched Kalinda's cheek with her free hand, her eyes still filled with fear.

~~~

That night Alicia was different, rougher, more insistent. She pushed down on Kalinda's wrists, pinning her against their makeshift bed.

"What is this?"

"This?" Kalinda raised an eyebrow and smiled up at her. "I'd hoped you'd realized by now."

"No, Kalinda, you and me. What does this mean?"

"Really, Alicia?" Kalinda struggled against Alicia's hold on her. She tried to roll over, expecting Alicia to let her move. When Alicia didn't budge and actually tightened her grip Kalinda felt the cool tendrils of anger start in her belly, branching up her ribcage before settling in her throat.

"Yes, really."

She began to struggle in earnest now, attempting to roll her hips and dislodge Alicia, to no avail. Alicia tightened her thighs, pinning Kalinda's hips between her knees.

"Alicia," she warned, "Let me go."

"No. Not until you tell me." Kalinda relaxed her muscles as if resigning herself to Alicia's control, attempting to trick the other woman into letting down her guard. She'd never before wished to hurt Alicia, never wished her any more harm than the aftermath of a good shake to smarten her up, but now she wanted to grab her by the throat and squeeze until Alicia's eyes flashed with real fear and she was the on the verge of passing out, leave bruises and droplets of blood in her wake.

She sighed. "Tell you what? What do you want from me, Alicia?"

Alicia cocked her head to the side. "Something real, Kalinda. We've been friends for years and we've been doing this for how long now? Just give me something."

Kalinda felt her anger melt away, the icy tendrils of her rage dissipating, leaving only the familiar fear she pushed aside when with Alicia. The words she wanted to say, the words Alicia wanted to hear, were on the tip of her tongue. She just couldn't say them.

Alicia leaned down and kissed her. Her lips were so soft, barely brushing against Kalinda's. She released Kalinda's wrists to bring her hands to either side of Kalinda's face, fingertips in her hair. When Alicia's tongue brushed against hers the oh so familiar jolt of electricity sped through her body, ending at her toes, making them ache.

Kalinda ran her fingers down Alicia's back, savouring the softness of her pale skin. Alicia shifted so she was no longer straddling Kalinda's hips but laying atop her, pressing her to open her legs.

"Tell me you love me," Alicia murmured against Kalinda's lips. She could literally feel the words against her tongue, echoing through her body. If she was honest with herself, Kalinda did love and care for Alicia. She'd wanted her almost as long as she'd known her, found her one of the smartest and most interesting people she'd ever met. And if she was truly honest with herself, she was in love with Alicia; unbelievably, irrevocably so. But to admit that would be against who she was, against the promise she had made herself so many years ago.

Alicia kissed her neck, still mumbling and pleading between open mouthed kisses. "Everyone and everything is dead. What do you have to lose."

Kalinda snapped. She pushed against Alicia, flipping her onto her back, reversing their positions. Now Kalinda was on top. She mirrored Alicia's actions, holding her wrists down. "You know how I feel. Why do you want to hear it?"

"Because we've been sleeping together for ten months,"

"I never pegged you for that needy, Alicia."

"It's not needy to want some sort of intimacy. It's human nature."

"I'm not very good at human nature."

"I know."

Kalinda's heart thumped wildly in her chest. She could feel Alicia's doing the same underneath her hands. She released Alicia's wrists and lay down,half on the bed, half on Alicia. She was near enough to be tucked in the crook of Alicia's arm. Alicia's neck was so close, close enough that she could smell the sweetness of her skin and imagine the slight tattoo of her pulse. She felt terribly domestic. As domestic as she had felt in a very long time. And as much as one could living in the hollowed out shell of a rural high school with the corpses of former loved ones attempting to disembowel them. But she felt safe in this moment.

"I love you." It was barely above a breath but it was enough.
 
 
 
wordznat on November 12th, 2011 01:52 am (UTC)
This is sexy and smart and articulate and poignant and compelling and utterly, completely fantastic. Thank you so much.
CaroRulescarorules on November 12th, 2011 07:01 pm (UTC)
Just finished reading this all, I loved it!

I think it's the first time I read something you wrote, you're very talented.

I loved the whole Alicia and Kalinda dynamic, the way it grew and also the zombie killing ;)

Great job !
softestbullet [dreamwidth.org] on March 27th, 2012 05:11 am (UTC)
Aaahhhhh. I loved this!
hotladykisseshotladykisses on April 25th, 2012 02:13 pm (UTC)
Nice story ! I read it with great pleasure -- it does sometimes feel like it would take a zombie apocalypse for Alicia and Kalinda to finally be together, doesn't it ?

I love what you did with them, how in character they are and how you described their relationship. Bitter sweet love story and sweet ending ! Thanks for this very nice fic.
well well wellahkna on April 25th, 2012 02:14 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you for such a kind comment! ♥
hotladykisseshotladykisses on April 25th, 2012 02:31 pm (UTC)
Thank YOU for writing this ! I never thought my little shipper heart was going to buy a zombie story about A/K in the first place, but then you got me -- reading it, re-reading it, and *loving* it : great job !